One year closer…


To our Sweet Fox Joaquin, It’s been one year, 365 days, 8,760 hours, 525,600 minutes, 31,536,000 seconds. We have thought about you more than I ever thought was possible. Our love for you is indescribable. We miss you and wish so badly we could celebrate with you here in our arms, but we can’t. This day is hard. I remember this day a year ago. I remember it like it was yesterday. I remember what we […]

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35 days


35 Days. Fox was due Christmas Day. He was going to be the best Christmas present we could have ever asked for. He was going to be our Christmas joy. Everywhere you look there are calendars reminding you how many days until Christmas. 35 days. I see a glaring reminder everywhere I go, how close we would have been to meeting our son. It takes my breath away every time I see it. Every time […]

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An empty room…

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A dresser that’s missing one drawer, a soft pink chair and a tiny blue box. That’s the contents of Fox’s room. The room we had planned for him. The room we thought we would shuffle our tired bodies to in the middle of the night and pick up our beautiful son. The room where we would rock him, feed him, or just peek in to see his sweet face while he slept. It is so […]

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Hope. Four letters, one syllable. It seems like such a simple word. But it holds so much meaning. I never really thought about it before. I never realized how much hope you need to keep moving forward. I need it now and it’s the one thing I can’t seem to hang on to. I see it in so many people around me. It’s right there, right in front of me. I’m not sure why I […]

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…fill in every part of my heart that is hollow…

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This is probably one of the most difficult blog posts I will ever write. I am not sure how to begin. I haven’t posted any blogs in over two years. John and I have had a lot going on in that time. We sold our house, moved into an apartment and are building a brand new house. In the middle of all that, we have experienced a lot of happiness and most recently a lot of heartache. […]

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